Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Happy Christmas Eve

Ahoy-hoy y'all!
This weekend er a series of awesome events.
# 1 Winter drive-in with my boys. I love you all SO much, and ska miss ya like crazy! But It was epic, and our new tradition ... Det next hour, I er wearing multiple pairs of socks to Avoid freezing my Toes off again:) 
# 2 Last shift at work! It was sat to say goodbye to the people, Saying Goodbye To The workload om? Not quite so sad. :) 
# 3 Christmas EVE! duh. Got two Chillax with family, and I'm now working on my quilt!  
Keep on tracking along people, just 12 DAYS TILL HAWAII!

Much love, and MERRY CHRISTMAS

Thursday, December 22, 2011

2 weeks left!

I am UNBELIEVABLY excited! But better still, I have good news! I am just a few hundred dollars short of having my ENTIRE TUITION FEE PAYED-OFF! Thanks to all who have given to me, it means the world to know that you want to be a part of this journey, and I will think of you all while I am on it! You are truly a blessing to me : )
Thanks to a dear friend, I have reunited with my quilt-making, and aim to complete it in just 3 days! God-willing it will still turn out beautifully : )
I am about to run-off to work (only 3 shifts left!) and then its time for a packed-full social life for the next 2 weeks. 
Unfortunately some "goodbyes" have already had to happen, with people scurrying around for the holidays, but as my friend Anners put it "You have to say 'goodbye' before you can say 'hello'." So we're gonna run with that one for now. 

Love you all dearly!
Enjoy the holidays folks, and I will talk to you soon,

Thursday, December 15, 2011

oh the fruit

I am JUMPING UP-AND-DOWN with excitement and nervousness. I leave for YWAM in just:
3 weeks.
Can you believe it? I can't.

This week I was asked what I am most excited for. I could rattle off a whole list of things, but I've realized what is most important to me. And I am very happy with my answer:
I can't wait to hyper-speed my relationship with God. I have this idea of who I am designed to be, but there's this junk in the way that is 'blocking' me from getting from "here" to "there". I believe this will be the "to-there" part. I can't wait to grow deeper and deeper in love with God, and who He's created me to be, and to honor him by being exactly that!
As for the other tons of things on my list?
I get to meet all these AMAZING people that will be a part of and staffing this school. I get to be fully engrossed in God. I get to eat fruit ALL THE TIME!
If you don't believe how excited I am about the fruit... I google'd for a solid 30min, the local fruit in Hawaii... just so I know exactly what to look forward too
I get to be by one of my all-time loves: the ocean! I get to see a place I've never been too. I get to walk in the sand. I get to have a new sense of independence. I get to worship God all the time (I try now, but its just going to be a totally different atmosphere). I get to be ministered to. I get to minister to others. I get to free myself from anything holding me back.
I mean really. Wouldn't you be excited too?

Now, after saying this, which is my main brain-wave when thinking about YWAM. I do feel like saying a little something to friends and family who are with me here.
I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU! I love you all so much more than I can even explain or probably understand. I wish I could pack you up in my suitcase and bring you with me. AS much as excitement is absorbing most of my thought-time, there is still way more space than I would like, that is filled with sadness that I am leaving you.
I'm sure there will be a bunch of tears of all different sorts (consider yourself fairly warned) when I have to say goodbye, and when I come back as well.
But I am trusting and praying that our lives be abundant and full of joy and friendships and that we have a bazillion number of stories to share whenever we can.

So with that, its time for bed.
Blessings and Love,

Friday, December 09, 2011

small & mighty

Just under 4 weeks now folks!
It is insane, how excited I am... and everyone else for that matter! I'm having to make a conscious effort not to be jumping up-and-down on a regular basis... but who knows, maybe that will just become my exercise for the day if I can no longer keep it under control!

Most of my checklist has been checked, in terms of preparing to go. I've got all my medical records and Tuberculosis clearances, insurance has been bought, and flight has been booked (well in advance of now). Its actually kind of sad that everything's done. This likely sounds weird, but with nothing to keep me racing around with things to do, I feel like a sitting-duck, just waiting for this amazing chapter in my life to finally get here! The next few weeks are bound to go by quickly though, as I cram in as much time with my friends and family as possible before I leave. Especially with all my uni-friends all coming back the same week, my schedule is bound to be packed full. Thank Heavens!
For a while, I was feeling really discouraged by the amount of money that's come in for this trip, but with prayer from a whole bunch of people, my encouragement has gone way up, and I've been getting a lot of responses with helping me financially! So you all know who you are, and I thank you dearly! You've been a huge encouragement to you, and I am sure God will bless you hugely for it! 
As you regulars will know, I've been connecting up with the youth on facebook. We've all been experiencing an amazing amount of support and our prayer network has been so incredible. I'm actually just going to brag slightly about it, because I'm just so proud of us...the leaders and speakers have noticed how unusual and exciting it is to see what we have going, and everyone is really excited to see how God will be using this group! Apparently a "small but mighty" team has been the resounding description for us, and I think its awesome! It looks like there will be about 40 of us. So in my opinion, its the perfect size group!
I am about to pass-out from exhaustion, and I wouldn't want to drop my new laptop (uh-huh! I gots meself a good deal, and in perfect timing, as my old one is on the brink of dying out on me!). 

Alright then, nighty-night!

God bless,

Thursday, December 01, 2011

team mates

5. weeks. left. . . 
As you may well imagine, this thought has been running around my head a lot this past week. Sunday, is when it really sank in. I have 3 weeks left of church (we take 2 weeks off to be with family over Christmas) and that same week, I have to say goodbye to one of my best friends. That pretty much sucks. I cannot wait for YWAM but having to say goodbye is becoming a very sad reality and its happening much faster that I would like. 

Up until yesterday, I was willing just to sit on the couch and ball my eyes out until all tears were gone, and then just move on with my life and get all excited again (maybe some of you can relate to what I mean?). But yesterday I started to sort through the "why's" of my feelings. Here at home I have an amazing network that has and would still be there for me no matter what. They love me and I love them, and we can count on each other to be there "barefoot in an ice storm" as my mother would say. That is pretty much as loved and secure as you can feel. . . When I go to Hawaii, I can expect to learn and grow, make friends and be in community, and ultimately hyper-speed my relationship with God. Being loved the same way I am here though, that's a hard expectation to put on people. It took realizing that I was afraid that wouldn't happen, to realize I actually believe it will.

At the beginning of the week I was mad at God. I was frustrated with how much money I've raised, and that I was this sad about leaving. . . I don't generally do well with negative emotions. Eventually I hashed things out in my journal, and felt a bit better that at least I had been honest with where I am at (that is SO important!). I headed to a homegroup meeting last night, and I just sat in the driveway and asked God to clear-out the rest of the muck, and to give me a chance to give someone else a word.

Well, he did both!

The night focused on praying against discouragement, particularly for the women. Everyone of us was prayed for and it was amazing! I was able to help encourage the women of my church, and I was so blessed by what they spoke over my life. God has a nack for hearing what you ask of him, and bringing it about in the best way possible way. I'm not going to go into all the different words and pictures, but I will tell you the theme of them all: God is so wanting to partner with me in every way. With finances, learning and becoming his daughter. 

I truly believe that is a universal theme, for me it was spoken through very  specific words about my life, but its true for everyone. 
God wants to play on your team, you just have to pick him for it.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

picture time?

So my wonderful leaders have started to send out weekly emails so that we can start to see some more pictures of our future home!
I was debating on sharing them now, or posting my own when I get there. But I figure, since I'll be caught up in the excitement, I should cover my bases and post them now : ) Plus more is always merrier when it comes to pictures, so here they are! 

Mauka movie theater
Makua Theatre - On Campus Movie Theatre
Campus Banyan Tree cafe
Banyan Tree Cafe - On Campus Coffee House
Campus tree house ship
Treehouse at Banyan Tree Cafe
Campus prayer room
Prayer Room
We might get to enjoy this too
Kailua Bay
DTS Dorm Building
Breakfast (all meals outdoors!)

I'll keep y'all posted with the updates!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

like, official .. official

So its been a while, and I thought it may be time for an update!
Excitement has most certainly been building up, we are now at
42 days y'all!

Update numero uno:
We are currently standing at...
35 students: 13 guys, 22 girls.  
Ages 17-34. 
From: USA, Canada, UK, France, Netherlands, Korea, Kyrgyzstan, Denmark, Australia, New Zealand, and still growing! 
... and they are all AMAZING! you are bound to hear me mention that little fact time and again, but I just cannot get over how wonderful and supportive and excited everyone is! It is going to be a marvelous time guaranteed.

Update number 2:
I am going to be a student at YWAM (yes, we assumed this already... but now its official! ... like official, official!

Those are the two major things! But I'll just give you a rundown on the less exciting, but still mildly relevant things going on!
- making business cards to hand-out to people so that they can read my blog and find out more about YWAM. (hopefully donate as well!)
- talked to my new manager about leaving and he wants to know all about it! WOOT!
- dentist appointment this week
- TB shot sometime in the near future (yay....)

... and that is pretty much it folks! I will be working on my quilt a bit tomorrow so I'll try and get some pictures up if its anywhere near presentable. 

Talk to you soon!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

fearful and wonderful

About a year ago, I stopped straightening my naturally very curly hair. I was getting split-ends, and was trying to grow my hair out, so I wanted to see if that would help repair my damaged hair.
A few months ago, I started to stop wearing makeup. It wasn't because I had flawless skin, but because my skin was starting to breakout, and I wanted to see if giving my skin "room to breathe" would help. 
A few weeks ago, I stopped washing my face with products, and went back to just regular tap water. My skin wasn't flawless, but I decided that maybe just letting it be all natural would help in the "airing out" of my skin. I didn't want to wash anything off my face that wasn't my own sweat or tears. 
A weeks ago, I stopped washing my hair with shampoo everyday, and reverted to conditioning it everyday, and shampooing once a week. I was finding my hair dry, and the damage, while better, hadn't entirely been repaired from all those days of straightening my hair. 

About a month ago I straightened my hair for the first time. Half way through I wanted to stop because I hated it, but was too lazy to go take a shower. I could see the beginning of split-ends the next day
This morning, I washed my hair with shampoo, my hair felt dry. 
Today I went to the salon with my mum. I hadn't gotten a haircut in 8 months. They barely needed to cut anything off, and I got my hair cut specifically for curly hair, so now if I straighten my hair, it won't actually look right, because its designed to be curly. 
I love it! best cut I have ever had. 
I was so excited, when I got home I decided to do a mini photoshoot of myself so that everyone could see it. 
I decided to put make-up on so that I wouldn't have to edit the pictures as much (we all do it, don't lie). 
It turns out I didn't need to edit the photos. My skin looked flawless despite the blemishes. The makeup, frankly, did hardly anything, except make my eyelashes appear on a picture. 
And, I couldn't wait to take that stuff off! 
Unfortunately, this involved make-up remover, face wash, toner and moisturizer, all for a teeny bit of foundation and eyeliner.
I washed my face afterwards with water to try and get that suffocated feeling off my skin. Frankly, when I looked in the mirror, I was just as pleased with my face then, as I was when it was make-up'd for my pictures

No makeup, no edits.

Make-up, no edits.

Makeup and edits.

Makeup, minimal edits... Mostly just to show-off my creativity : )
The first thought that popped into my head after telling y'all this, is "I'm not trying to brag and say that I'm beautiful or anything like that"...
Frankly that's a lie. I am beautiful. Naturally. I realize that I can dress up to go out-on-the-town, do my hair different than it normally is, and throw on some makeup to play up my features. But those are, my features. They would be there with or without the makeup.
Now I'm not trying to brag, and that's the truth, the only one that gets bragging rights for me, is God. 
"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." 
Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
That, is the truth.
We need to start peeling back the layers, that people tell us we need so that we're beautiful. It can be fun! Like dress-up when you were a kid, but for it to be a habit? Something were we wake up earlier in the morning just so we can have time to "put on our face" that is crap folks. 

Become comfortable in your own skin, love your body, love your face, love your hair... don't cover it up! My skin may not be flawless, I have naturally rosy/blotchy cheeks, but its me! and its quirky and looks like pillow marks, but when you learn to love that quirkiness, than make-up becomes fun, and straightening your hair is an occasion, and that is a great feeling!

Not one of us, should ever feel or be convinced that we aren't fearfully and wonderfully beautiful. Because God, creator of the universe? Yah, HE says you are. And as far as I'm concerned, what He says, goes. 

Sunday, November 06, 2011

part of the glue

Dearest humans that read this blog, 
I am sorry that its taken me this long to post something new, I really wasn't sure what to write about! There have been some wonderful mini-blessings, a few melt-downs, and then some bigger blessings. All of which were very scattered and spread-apart, so I wasn't sure how to collect them into a single post. But I now have some glue to hold them all together!
Recap on the blessings: $200 from random Starbucks regulars. Mother pays insurance. ! WOOT
To start off with, I have to pay tribute to my lovely mother. Hopefully she doesn't mind me posting this on the internet, but seeings as I have only kind things to say.. I suppose i can't get in too much trouble : ) (love you mum!)
This woman has been more of a blessing than I can fairly describe! She has this mother's intuition that exceeds "my child is crying in her room alone", to knowing when I need an extra pick-me-up and somehow knowing exactly what the looks like. The other day we went to do an exchange of pants-to-hiking-shoes. Shoes are not generally a fun thing for my odd feet to become friends with, so its a very long process and an expensive one which was money I did not want to be spending. So what happens? We go through the whole process of trying on 10,000 pairs of shoes, and settle on a really great pair. I stressed-out about buying them all the way too and past the cash register. Get in the car. Mum says she'll cover off whatever wasn't covered already by returning my pants! AWESOME. She's also said she wants to give me a monthly allowance while I'm away, which is superb! (I can now do laundry folks!... all my roommates i'm sure, will be very pleased). Isnt' she awesome?! I think so. LOVE YOU MUM!!! <3
So that's Part 1 of "The Glue" dun-duhn-duhnnnnnnnn.....

PART 2 of "The Glue": meeting with financial adviser (duh-nuhnnnnnnn)
This lady is another wonderful human! She met up with me to help me sort out bank accounts and all the technicalities surrounding paying for YWAM. And then, like it was nothing, whips off ideas for about half-an-hour about all the things I could do to fundraise for my trip. I think I may have come-up with 1 in the amount of time it took her to come up with a solid 5. Getting these all rolling maybe an entirely different story, and there is still the whole process of praying through them and hearing what God wants me to do. It was just so great to get that creative wheel spinning though, and starting to think about what I can actually do for this. So encouraging! 
She is a great woman who has totally helped me to see that what I'm doing is something people want to support, cause as much as I have been supported, there can still be that lingering thought that maybe I shouldn't be asking for help. And that's not cool, because everyone needs help, and we all need to be OK with asking for it! 

PART 3 of "The Glue" (can you tell I get a kick out of the "the glue"...?):
So I finally have had the glorious opportunity of going to church this morning (my job has generally kept me from this for the past 2-3 months)! IT was FANTASTIC, and a wonderful set of events made this Sunday even better than I could have expected. 
For those of you who may not have grown up knowing what "prophecy" is, I'll do my best to give you a brief explanation here, so my story is that much cooler! 
Prophecy: is basically God speaking to a person and giving them insight, encouragement, instructions, or a prediction, if you will, over someone else's life. It is always supposed to be an uplifting and encouraging thing! So if you've gotten deep, scary, twisty ones in your life, chances are its wrong! :)
Anywho, back to my story! So today another wonderful lady (I have a lot of these in my life, its truly grande) prophesied over me. Here is the basics of what she said:
God is taking me into a new place, and that I shouldn't be worried or stressed over how to prepare for this or the things that I need to get done. That I just need to be in His presence, and be listening to His voice and reading His words. That He will bring in everything that I need and all I need to do is just to spend time with Him. 
This is more amazing than you may know. Because this week, while there has been so many obvious positives, has been tough. It can almost be addictive, being blessed by God, because you just want more! And I am sure that's a good thing. But being a human, I've managed to turn it into a stressful thing. Instead of just reminding myself that God does bless me and that I don't need to worry about when the next one will come because He has been so faithful in blessing me already.. there is no need to worry

Essentially "the moral of the story" is to be reminded by the blessings in your life, that there are more to come! There is no credit-limit on what God is capable and eager to do in your life. Or mine. He just wants to spend time with His kids, for us to remember that He is there, that He loves us, and that His one desire is to see us become people that are so totally soaked in His glory and His love that we can no longer contain ourselves! 

So folks! Lets remember God this week. Spend time with Him, love Him and let Him love us back! It'll be
fun, I can guarantee it : )

Monday, October 31, 2011

good timing and better surprises

I have some fantastic news!

Just last night, I was talking to a few friends about this sponsorship letter that I was working on, to let friends and family know about what I will be doing in Hawaii...

As you will know through reading my other posts, I do not enjoy asking for money. So this task has not been an easy one, which has resulted in my postponing it for quite some time now!

... This conversation basically consisted of me listing my fears about whether-or-not God saying He was going to provide for me involved asking for money or not. My dear friend clarified these fears very well, basically saying, that ...

When I do my part by informing people of what I'm doing and that I need financial support, God can than provide through putting it on the hearts of people that are meant to support me financially. (And He may throw a few surprises in there as well!)

Last night I was journaling about this, and asked God that He renew my faith in Him to give me the finances I need for YWAM. 
This morning I came downstairs and there was an envelope on the computer saying "YWAM" on it. My Mum said that she had told a couple that regularly comes into her Starbucks, about my trip. They had been praying about it, and decided that they wanted to help support me for YWAM. They gave me $200 for me to put toward whichever YWAM costs I need it for!

How AMAZING is that?!

God provided me with finances just when I was beginning to doubt if that is what He wants for me. He has simultaneously provided for me, and renewed my faith that that is His desire for me! 
Oh my glory, how I  love Him!

More posts shortly!

Friday, October 28, 2011

write it. sign it. date it.

I'm making friends, guys!

So my last post, was a little dreary. But since then, I feel like there has been a huge shift
For myself, and those who didn't read that post (tsk tsk) I'll recap just a bit. Basically I wasn't doing great, I was really sad about leaving home, and was really not used to that entire concept, and why now I was feeling 'homesick' when that has never been an issue for me in the past. 

I have had SUCH major 'break through' this past week. I pretty much wrote down everything negative I was feeling, told (wrote) God that I was giving it over to him, signed and dated it. Formal I know, but I have found (in the 2 times I have done this) that the visual reminder that you've handed over your burdens to God, to be very effective. I then wrote down how I wanted to feel and the positive things that I know to be true about myself, my life, and the upcoming things in my life. Signed. Dated. Again, it may sound cheesy, and I'm sure it is, but choosing to lay down all the things that God says we're not meant to carry, and choosing all that is good that God does want for us, is a huge deal! Write it, sign it, date it. To me, it gives the words you've said authority and it gives you proof. So that when your feeling gross or guilty or fearful, you can look at the piece of paper and say "No. I chose to put these feelings aside, and let God deal with them, so I don't need to feel this way. Its taken care of." and THEN you get to turn the page and be like, "Hey! This is what God has said I am, and I know its true, because he only speaks the truth, so I can choose to feel this way instead!" As cheesy as it may be, who doesn't want it to be just that simple?!

Now here's the great stuff that has happened since (or around) that note:

  • I have been so happy and excited, once again for this trip I'm going on (which is really rather important)
  • I've started making a quilt! Which I am bringing to Hawaii, so some of my friends/family are donating clothes to help out, so they can be there with me! (Cheese-ball, I know!)
  • Today I found out a cheap phone plan for while I'm away, which was a huge learning curve for me. My dad has always been the one to help me out with these things, and I decided to try and figure it out myself, so I'm really very proud of myself  :D
  • I will also be meeting up, for free, with a lady whose going to help me sort out my bank account so its the easiest for when I'm in the states. So that will be a new learning experience as well!
  • The students in my DTS have all started to connect and get to know each other a bit more through facebook! (I am seriously so excited to meet everyone and see what God is going to do in all of our lives!) Hence the intro sentence. I don't know if anyone but us, can appreciate how exciting it is, to be getting to know these crazy-awesome people that your about to become best friends with. And I truly believe these are going to be lifelong friendships, so its all very, VERY exciting!

So that is the update! I will keep-on keeping you posted!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

emotions & walkabouts

There are so many emotions that you wrestle with when your on the brink of an adventure like mine. 
In all the travelling I've done by myself (starting when I was just 12) or with one other person, I never really missed home, or was sad to be leaving. Of course, those trips would never last longer than 3 months, but all the same, I think of that as an unusual reaction for someone as young as I was.
Right now though, there is the crazy mix of emotions that I'm feeling. Priority of course, is pure excitement! But its also a bit heartbreaking. Now, when I am surrounded by a great church community, amazingly unbelievably awesome friends, and my family as well... its so hard to think about leaving them. Especially since only in this past year have all these wonderful things come together in my life to form this melting-pot of amazingness. What is up with the timing here?! 

In mid-summer, I had decided I wanted to take another two high schools so that come November, I could apply to university. Well that, is no longer happening. I really feel God putting it on my heart to really be here, while I'm here. Frankly, it seems a bit cruel. Why would I want to become more attached to the people that I have to leave? Maybe I am just cold-hearted and self-protective, but would you not be trying to do the opposite? Maybe not to the extreme of cutting yourself off from people, but to be taking the time to surround myself with people that I feel like I am about to lose? That is so tragic. In the past, I would prepare myself to leave, through gradually detaching myself from people...

Maybe that's the real lesson God is giving me. That I don't need to detach in order to feel secure anymore. Deep, I know. 
When it comes down to it though, I am sad. I'm sad to be leaving my best friends. I'm sad to be leaving my church. I'm sad to be leaving my family. And I'm even sad to be leaving my room behind (its really pretty). 
Ultimately though, I do believe that this is all part of a process, and a bigger picture. I think God is teaching me not to disconnect, because he wants me to have a network of people, a home-base, that has my back and has me in their prayers. He is also preparing me for the bigger calling that he has on my life. 
There's traditions in many different cultures surrounding the coming of age. Its basically a time when youth go out on their own into the forest, the outback, or what-have-you and survive on their own until their destiny or calling is made known to them. They then return to their home, or continue on their journey, and fulfill that calling. Its really quite poetic. 
I feel like I'm on mine... or about to be at least. 
Its like I need to sever the ties I have here, and completely remove myself from all that is familiar from the life I have grown up in. Go do my inner-healing, my god-learning, and my out-reaching time, and then return, or continue on, with the destiny that God wants to reveal to me. 
Its a lot, but he's going to help me sort it all out... because he's already done that for me! Its just a matter of having my ears open, and listening for when he reveals what he wants, when he wants too. And that's not him "playing god" (though I know he is, and he is well aware of the fact) .. its him protecting me from the overload I would be bound to experience, if he revealed all the ins and outs of my life's story before its time.  I don't even want to know all the details yet, cause really, where's the fun in that? 

Well, enough of my midnight ramblings, goodnight!

Friday, October 21, 2011

so many blessings

Today, has been a very good day. It started off with sleeping-in, which is always nice. I talked to my boss about Kona, and we both agreed on the same date for my leaving, no issues! He's totally cool with me leaving 9 months early, and he's agreed to try and give me Sundays and Tuesdays off work. Which means I can finally go back to Church and get involved in the young adults meetings again...woohoo! 
Another grande thing happened today. Check out this mini verse and then I'll explain : )
quotation mark Mark 12:41-44 
And He sat down opposite the treasury, and began observing how the people were putting money into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent.Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.”quotation mark
I never wanted financial help from anyone. Even when it came to university (which I have yet to attend) I didn't want help from my parents, because I didn't want to feel like I owed anyone.
In these past few months, however; God has been teaching me a lot more about who He is and that he wants to provide for me. Today someone very precious to me, said that they want to pay for my travel insurance. It costs around $300.00 which is a substantial chunk of money for anyone to give. 
It was actually really emotional for me, because I know what circumstances this person is willing to support me from, and they remind me so much of the widow in this scripture. 
It is so humbling that someone would want to do that for me, and I am so grateful to you. You are truly a blessings in my life, and I cannot wait to see the blessing that will be poured into yours from your willingness to give! 

Chat with y'all soon!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

sleepy weather days

Today was one of those crazy sleepy days and rainy stormy weather. One of my favourite kinds of days!
Perfect for sleeping in way too late, and pampering myself with a face and hair mask. Instead of watching Dirty Dancing for the 3 time this week, I decided to make some soup!

Without a recipe... and... I decided to actually write down my recipe, which I never do, and share it with y'all! This is most definitely a first for me, so we shall see how it goes.

So, with my country music blaring, fireplace on, and tea on standby, here is my blustery-day-inspired:
Acorn Squash, Sweet Potato, and Split-Pea Soup!
1 acorn squash
1 pear
1 apple
4 small onions
2 cloves garlic

2 cups yellow split peas
1 can pureed sweet potato
1 box (900ml) chicken broth
2 cups apple juice
8 cups water

1 tsp grated ginger
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp cayenne
Olive oil

In an oven-proof pan:
1 acorn squash cubed, 2 tblsp olive oil and 1 tsp salt & pepper.
Put in oven at 350 for 35 min.

Meanwhile, in large soup pot:
Saute: 1tblsp olive oil, spices, minced garlic, grated ginger, and thinly sliced onions.
Add: Split peas, water, sweet potato, and chicken broth. Bring to a boil.
Once squash is finished and cooled; peel squash and mash in with cubed apple and pear.
Add to soup pot.

Continue boiling mixture until split peas are tender, approx. 2hrs.

Then, just let me know what you think! : )

Monday, October 17, 2011

pride & prejudice

Currently, I'm halfway through Greg Mortenson's book Stones Into Schools, and its gotten me thinking about pride and prejudice... not the movie, I just thought it would be cool to title this "pride & prejudice" because that's my favourite movie : ).When I first understood that I may be going to the "stans" as I call them (Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, etc.) with YWAM, my fist thought was: where are those, who is there, and what am I supposed to do there?

Luckily I've found "Three Cups of Tea" and "Stones Into Schools". Through reading Greg's stories about the families he met and the children he helped, and the culture and people that he has grown to love, I've grown to love them too. Its really amazing.

When I first learned of the possibility of going to the Stans, I asked God to give me a heart for his people, because frankly, I didn't have one. Or at least not for all of them. I'm not saying I hate anyone, there's no one culture that I dislike or anything crazy like that. It was just an impartiality. To people I haven't met yet, people I don't know about, stories I haven't heard. I just didn't really care, because I didn't know enough too.
The fantastic, and sometimes painful thing, is that now I do know enough. Not about everyone, yet... I still have a lot more people to learn about and to know. But about the people of Afghanistan and Pakistan? I've been learning a lot. And I love them! I think they are so beautiful, and I hope I get the chance to go and witness their life at some point in mine. And secretly (not so much anymore) I cannot wait to try Salt Tea.. like what does that even taste like? p.s. I'm a HUGE tea-drinker... so I'm very curious.

Frankly I'm not sure where to take this post from here, I suppose I could end it...
THE END! ta-da

PS. If you haven't already ~ and I truly hope most of you are way ahead me on this ~ take the time to care, and to get to know the other people in our world. They're fascinating, and they have tons to pour into our lives, we are the ones that miss-out if we don't take that time

Until next time,

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

why, thank~ya!

Time for an update? I think so!

Since my last post, there have been some grande things happening.

There's this crazy situation that I find myself getting into... Now, keep in mind this has only happened 2-3 times to me as of yet; but each time I discuss with someone my finances and how I believe God is going to provide them, I get home to find that that is exactly the case!
For instance, I was talking with my good friend about YWAM and all the costs I had to find a way to pay for and that I was trusting God to give them to me. I came home to find an email from my Grandparents saying they were going to help me with some of my costs.. now HOW exciting is that?! They have given me a huge leg-up with my flight, so thank-you to you!

Another lovely bit of news, is that I have gotten a letter from YWAM saying I don't need a visa : ) Its a small bit of news, but it takes some stress off, which is always a good thing.

Its crazy how good God is, He has totally been coming through on so many things, and right when I need them!
I love how encouraging He is, I'm learning so much more about the loving and caring God he is and how much he cares about me and the biggest to smallest details of my life.
Now how awesome is that?

More updates as they come,

Monday, October 03, 2011

oh... relax?

Hello fellow people!
Today felt like blogging atmosphere to me, hence... this post! Woohooo!

As you may or may not know, the past week or two has been emotionally hectic. I'm sure everyone has those times, so you'll probably be able to relate to that. It was madness. Now though, I'm doing a lot better. I feel like there's solid ground beneath my feet again and the reasons why are nothing like what I was searching for.
All the stress about visas, and money, and timing and school-work... let. it. all. go.
Simple. But crazy difficult. Maybe that's why it was a whole 2-weeks of stressing out.
I realized that me worrying is exactly the opposite of me being productive. That I had been praying to God that HE, would put it on the hearts of those who should be supporting me. That HE, would give me peace about which visa, if any, I should get. and that HE  would help me be motivated to do my school work, and make that entire process smooth.
The major word in all of that is "he". Its up to God guys, when you ask Him to come through on something, you should consider it done. I should consider it done. He is more than willing to show you that He is God of the Universe and Papa of your heart. That His desire for you is for the things of your heart, and for you to feel successful, to feel secure, protected, and purposeful. Not even just to feel these things, but to be these things. Because you are His daughter, or son and He is the perfect Daddy. Who happens to be King of the Universe, as well as utterly in love with you.
For me, believing what I just told you, took a bit of craziness. It took time, and it took me actively choosing to believe these things, sometimes consciously and sometimes it was frustration, just 'giving up' on making things work myself, and saying "fine God, you do it!". And he does.

So where am I at now? haha, good question.
I am at a place of comfort. I know I have the money in the bank that I need to go do YWAM. Its all mine, I've spent 2-years working full-time to earn it. I've saved nearly every penny, and I am committed to not being in debt, ever. Its one of the goals I've had since I was 12 years old (a lot of goals/promises were made around that age for me). Seeing that money be cut down by $10,000 dollars will be hard. Not even going to pretend to make it seem easy. But God, I believe, is telling me that I'm not going to be paying for this trip on my own. That He is putting it on the hearts of others to support what I am doing. And those people, that God is nudging forward, are frankly, the only people I would accept money from! I want no obligation to be the blessing to people that have supported me. That is between God and "you" .. whoever you are. He will bless you in return I am sure of it. And I am sure that He is blessing me through you. Its a great circle really. But only if God is in the middle of it. That is why I'm now at peace about finances. I've realized I don't want anyone's money if its not given through Him. And if that doesn't happen in the time frame I am expecting, I've got the money I need already, to do what God has called me to do.
Its really, rather freeing.

So I'm going to leave it at that.
Be blessed in your day and the next ones coming. And try to just relax! Its amazing how much more can be accomplished when we're not trying to grasp onto the reins every other second, and control the situation.
God's got it!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

an itty-bitty roller-coaster

So, this past week has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me.
With all the excitement about getting into YWAM, there's also, a fairly natural, level of stress that comes with it. As you can see by the budget I posted earlier, there is a lot of money going into this. Which is fine. Money is meant to be put into things that will bring about amazing experiences and the like. So that isn't the issue. It is more realizing the attachment I have developed to my money and how much I don't want to spend all of it, because then the amount in my bank account will be a lot less than it is now. Completely logical, but still scary. Lets just be honest here.

So I have had a bit of an issue sleeping this past week-and-a-bit. I am a planner. I like to have things planned way in advance, even if the likelihood of it coming about is not entirely there.
So YWAM is a bit of a personal challenge because I'm not able to plan what I'm doing after.
I know that this is what God has been preparing me for over the last year. Since last October/November, He has been telling me that I'm not to have a plan, that I'm supposed to be utterly reliant on Him to pull through the things that He wants me to do, and to shut the doors on what I'm not supposed to do. And He has, thank... Him! I winded up finding the right Church for me to be in, getting a job, applying-to-getting-into-and-not-accepting-travelling-volunteering-opportunities, quitting my job, moving-in with my Mum at the exact time I should have, getting another job, and now applying-to and getting-into YWAM!  So Papa cares, and I know He's got this whole trip in His hands. Especially (and that isn't even the appropriate word) because this whole trip is about serving God. My daddy-God has handled everything from work, to home, to relationships and beyond, simply because He can and I asked Him too. Now with me doing what God has called me too, there is even more trust in me that He is going to pull through just like He's shown me, and that after-YWAM is already sorted out and raring to go!

So please be praying for me to have
1. PEACE!  (and sleep...)
2. How to be preparing for after YWAM (aka.. visa?)

Thanks so much!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

budget support : )

Hi ya'll

So I've been debating over the past few days what the best way is to ask for support on this journey of mine. First and foremost, prayer is a definite! Knowing there are people praying for safety and blessing on this trip is so encouraging, and the best support I can ask for.

I generally don't do well with asking for help in the whole financial department, so this isn't something that comes lightly for me. So please, only give if you feel that what I am doing is something you wish to support. If I were giving to myself, I would want to know what I would be contributing too. So I've decided to give you guys all the cost information for this trip.

DTS: Costs

Flight (one-way to Hawaii):
CAD $491.62

Lecture Phase (Includes: food, board, tuition):
USD $3,995.00

Outreach (Includes: flight, insurance, food, board): 
USD $4,000 - $6,000

Insurance (for time in Hawaii): 
CAD $225.00 - $294.00

Highest Possible Total:

If you would like to contribute financially please email me at:, or post a comment.
If there is a specific part of my journey that you feel you want to give to, just let me know in the email or subject heading.
If there is an interest from people than Ill sort out a way for people to make contributions directly through the blog! Also, I'll try and keep people posted on how much money I've raised for my trip.. if you have any suggestions for fundraising let me know!
My goal is to get my outreach phase covered, anything above that would be superb!

Thanks so much, and please keep following!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


I've got some exciting news for ya'll!
As of today I've officially booked in my flight to Kona, Hawaii!

Booking in my flight! 

Scary thing is, that its only a one-way flight. Craziness, I know. Here's the "logic". This is going to be such a life changing experience, that I think its naive to expect that I'll have the exact same plan after school that I'll have heading into it. And I don't even know what that plan is yet! 

So I'm taking a leap of faith and booking a one way. I may end up flying home. I may stay in Hawaii. Or I may go somewhere else.
Some ideas are:
Working overseas for the following 6-months after school...
Or maybe staying in Hawaii and then doing something else with YWAM...
Maybe I'll even go back to one of the places I did outreach too...

I am positive God has something important for me to do after YWAM. Even if its doing what's expected of me, and coming home to go to university. But I also believe that He isn't going to reveal it until I'm there. So here's to taking a step and trusting God to lead me right where He wants me! 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

an invitation to trust

Want to hear how crazy awesome my God is?

I'm going to give you a bit of a timeline just so you understand the awesome-ness :)

September 10, 2011: 
Journal quote: "I've put in my application for YWAM, Kona. I truly believe it is what you've called me to do for this season. I'm truly putting my faith and trust in you to line-up the rest. Not that there is much else I can do."
"... I ask for your blessing with my finances in preparation to go. I believe you are wanting me to be supported in going so make it clear to me how your wanting me to walk in that expectation."September 12, 2011:
Journal quote: "It cannot have been long ago (as in, the past 3 days sometime) that I prayed you would give me financial blessing, and to let me know if I'm to seek help & support for Kona. Weel, today I got an email from *name* saying that the price for DTS Engage has been reduced by $215.00!"
September 15, 2011:

Discussion with my Father:
He was asking me more about YWAM and I told him about the cost reduction and how it would help me because in can go towards my flight into Hawaii. 
Then he said that he would like to pay for my flight if he has the Airmiles for it... that's a good $1500.00 that he's going to be helping me with (God willing he has the points.. plus a bit)!
Email quote: "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Engage DTS for the 1st Quarter starting January 5th, 2012."

And that's that. Within the space of 5 days, I've applied, been given financial blessing twice! and I have BEEN ACCEPTED!
Its official y'all. I am going to  YWAM Kona, Hawaii's Engage:Discipleship Training School in just four short months! 
I'm not sure anyone could understand just how excited I am, but you may be able to imagine :)

I will most definitely be keeping you up to date on the whole process. Prayers are most definitely appreciated, and I'm hoping to set up a way that people can help to support me if they wish!

Nice chatting with you,


Saturday, September 10, 2011

opportunity unlocked

So, no big deal, but...

My application to YWAM Kona, Hawaii is OFFICIALLY submitted.

:0 AHH!

Chances are you have no idea how exciting this is for me, but it is crazy. This means in just 4 months, I could be ... "leaving, on a jet plane" ... to Hawaii for 3 months and then on to the mysterious locations in Asia and sub-continental India for another 3 months. All of which, I've never had the pleasure of traveling too before.

would you not be excited too? ... lets actually get a bit interactive here... What's the most exciting place you've ever been/traveled too? I'm sure this question will only result in my being slightly envious of you, but all the same.... do tell!

Well, back to business. So here's a, hopefully little, write-up of whats led me to apply to the University of the Nations (the legit name for YWAM Kona.... can you tell I'm excited enough that I just want to repeat "YWAM Kona" as often as possible? I'll try to resist).

I first heard about YWAM nearly 2-years ago now at my old Church youth group. At the time I was vaguely interested, but thought it was a drama group more than anything, so I soon forgot about it.

Then in early August when my mum's friend came to visit, I told her that I really wanted to go to Hawaii for a vacation and learn how to surf. It turned out that "S" had been to both Holland and Hawaii with YWAM and she encouraged me to apply.

At first, I wasn't extremely interested, but promised to check it out. That night, as I prayed about it I asked God to make sure that I only apply if its on my heart because He's put it there, and not out of any sense of obligation to "S". The next morning I looked at the website again and found that there were trips going out to Nepal that worked in orphanages, the exact thing I felt I had been called to do since reading the book The Little Princes. So confirmation, I felt had been given. Still aware that I wanted to only grow excited about this opportunity if it was from God, I went into the rest of the day asking for even more confirmation.

I believe everyone will view 'confirmation' from God differently, but He is obviously very aware of that, and therefore will confirm in the way that we are familiar, which is exactly what has been happening for me.

Throughout that same day, time and time again, the concept of running an orphanage and being lined up with travel occurred. By that evening I felt thoroughly excited, and its only been growing since then.

Things that I expected to take forever to happen, have been moving at lightning speed, and my excitement has continually been increasing. As well, my heart for the areas I will be travelling to has been growing so much so, that I would want to look into them more seriously, even if YWAM is not something that is destined for this year.

I am so truly excited for this season of my life. Things have been flowing so wonderfully, and my faith has grown so much as a result of it. Even sharing this would have been difficult for me just a little while ago, and now I can't wait to tell you even more about the things I'm learning and growing in.

Can't wait to chat more.. and seriously. What is the craziest place you've ever been too? I'm really quite curious now.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

a trip into childhood

Hello folks!

I've just finished the fourth book in The Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon.
T'was really a rather amazing series. I haven't finished the entire set, but the fourth book ended in such a way that I felt that, at least for the mean time, I could take a break from them.
You see, I am the type of reader, that when I'm really taken-in by a book, I cannot put it down. So with two high school courses about to commence, and my job still being there for me, I figured it was time to set them down and get back to reality :(
As you may have figured, I start school soon! Yay? I'm actually not too bothered by it though. If I have these two courses done *fingers crossed* by November, then it means I am finally eligible to apply to University for Child and Youth Care! Which is one in many steps that will start me on my way to, one day, opening an orphanage of my own... shall we tangent that-a-ways?

Heck! Why not?
Ever since I was 12 years old, I wanted to run an orphanage. Odd for such a young age, I'm sure.
But I had three sisters and a crazy mum (in the best possible sense, of course) that decided to home school us so that she could ensure that our childhood was just that. A childhood. You see, kids grow up way to fast these days, I doubt I'll find many people that disagree with me on that one. You see little girls wearing makeup, and having boyfriends by the time there into middle school! And boys, well they're dating those girls, and just generally trying to grow up way too fast as well!
Anyways, back to it. The idea to run an orphanage was an off-and-on thing, not one of those steady goers. But when graduating high school was over, and my life's-plan hadn't emerged yet, I took another look at the idea.
Of course now, I have much greater awareness of how important your childhood is in your development. Not only intellectually ... or ... let's just go with all things "academic". But it affects your entire person. How your raised affects your attitudes and your values. The things that you want out of life, how you see other people.. how you see yourself. All of which are extremely important! And when you hold that looking-glass up to yourself and see the minute details that created you and your different response to things. You also start to notice when these beliefs began to take root.
Now maybe I'm a rare case, and people don't actually care all too much about why they are how they are. But I did. Most of it was great, I'm a super creative person, partly due to genetics, but art was always a huge part of my homeschooling. Creativity was believed to be a part of each and everyone of us, regardless if we had any actual talent. And then of course you see negative things, which I'm not sure I wish to divulge via blogging, but but I'm sure you all can think of a few for yourself, just as easily as I can for me.

Why that big schpeel? Orphans have lost a huge part of the potential for childhood, when their parents are no longer in the picture. Think about it? No more parent.. whose going to raise the child, who is going to allow the child to even behave like a child? That, is what bothers me.
I've seen the effects in my own life for thinking I had to be older than I was. And I had parents, and an older sister! And cousins and uncles and grandparents and family friends and "fake uncles and aunts". They were all there at my disposal. Yet I still managed to grow up way too fast, and take on responsibilities that were never mine to carry. Now sure, I'm "mature for my age" and it wasn't all negative. But that was a choice. Other kids don't get to choose.

So now I want to give back, over an above becoming a mum someday. I want to be in the child's life, who doesn't have, even just a big sister. I want to be there for them so they don't have to be there for themselves. So that they can live as a child till its time for them to grow up, not a second sooner.

This is also why I'm so excited about YWAM. Chances are, I'll get to work with some children who have had to grow beyond their years. Not only will I get to have my own personal-growth-time. But I'll get to help witness to children who've had way to much growing up and not enough child-ing.

Friday, September 02, 2011

a first

So this is my first entry into the blogging world. How exciting!

Most people ( I think?) have some sort of motivation behind beginning a blog. So I thought I'd let you in on my little secret. I'm not a poet, though I do occasionally scribble down a little something. I'm not a musician, though my friends and I love writing music, and I played flute, play piano, and attempt guitar. I'm not an artist, even though I sketch and paint pretty often.

I'm not a lot of things. But I am one. I am a traveler. Have I done a ton of it? Compared to most people my age, maybe. But is it enough? Nope. What else am I? I am someone who wants to bring joy to people. To me, joy= God, or vice-versa... either way my joy comes from Him, so I figure they're essentially interchangeable.
My goal is to bring (through God) as much joy as possible, to everyone I come in contact with on my travels.

My first step in achieving this, in as safe a way as possible (don't you hate how that's a concern these days?), is applying to Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Kona, Hawaii.
How stoked would you be? A 3-month stay in Kona doing a ministry training and personal development school, and then onto a 3-month stay over sees, somewhere in Asia and sub-continental India.

So there you have it. My original motivation for starting this blog.
Those of you willing to follow along, will be second-hand-witnesses to the adventure that may, or may not (dun-dun-duhn) unfold.

The beginning adventure to a lifetime of meaningful travel.
I know I am excited. So much so, that even the smallest things in my mind, deserves a whole post! But I figure you may not be nearly as excited as I am... just yet!

So soon enough, you'll have a short little list of all the craziness that led up to this decision, and the steps that I have taken so far to make this little dream come even closer to a wonderful reality.

Can't wait? Me neither.