Thursday, September 29, 2011

an itty-bitty roller-coaster

So, this past week has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me.
With all the excitement about getting into YWAM, there's also, a fairly natural, level of stress that comes with it. As you can see by the budget I posted earlier, there is a lot of money going into this. Which is fine. Money is meant to be put into things that will bring about amazing experiences and the like. So that isn't the issue. It is more realizing the attachment I have developed to my money and how much I don't want to spend all of it, because then the amount in my bank account will be a lot less than it is now. Completely logical, but still scary. Lets just be honest here.

So I have had a bit of an issue sleeping this past week-and-a-bit. I am a planner. I like to have things planned way in advance, even if the likelihood of it coming about is not entirely there.
So YWAM is a bit of a personal challenge because I'm not able to plan what I'm doing after.
I know that this is what God has been preparing me for over the last year. Since last October/November, He has been telling me that I'm not to have a plan, that I'm supposed to be utterly reliant on Him to pull through the things that He wants me to do, and to shut the doors on what I'm not supposed to do. And He has, thank... Him! I winded up finding the right Church for me to be in, getting a job, applying-to-getting-into-and-not-accepting-travelling-volunteering-opportunities, quitting my job, moving-in with my Mum at the exact time I should have, getting another job, and now applying-to and getting-into YWAM!  So Papa cares, and I know He's got this whole trip in His hands. Especially (and that isn't even the appropriate word) because this whole trip is about serving God. My daddy-God has handled everything from work, to home, to relationships and beyond, simply because He can and I asked Him too. Now with me doing what God has called me too, there is even more trust in me that He is going to pull through just like He's shown me, and that after-YWAM is already sorted out and raring to go!

So please be praying for me to have
1. PEACE!  (and sleep...)
2. How to be preparing for after YWAM (aka.. visa?)

Thanks so much!

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