Monday, October 31, 2011

good timing and better surprises

I have some fantastic news!

Just last night, I was talking to a few friends about this sponsorship letter that I was working on, to let friends and family know about what I will be doing in Hawaii...

As you will know through reading my other posts, I do not enjoy asking for money. So this task has not been an easy one, which has resulted in my postponing it for quite some time now!

... This conversation basically consisted of me listing my fears about whether-or-not God saying He was going to provide for me involved asking for money or not. My dear friend clarified these fears very well, basically saying, that ...

When I do my part by informing people of what I'm doing and that I need financial support, God can than provide through putting it on the hearts of people that are meant to support me financially. (And He may throw a few surprises in there as well!)

Last night I was journaling about this, and asked God that He renew my faith in Him to give me the finances I need for YWAM. 
This morning I came downstairs and there was an envelope on the computer saying "YWAM" on it. My Mum said that she had told a couple that regularly comes into her Starbucks, about my trip. They had been praying about it, and decided that they wanted to help support me for YWAM. They gave me $200 for me to put toward whichever YWAM costs I need it for!

How AMAZING is that?!

God provided me with finances just when I was beginning to doubt if that is what He wants for me. He has simultaneously provided for me, and renewed my faith that that is His desire for me! 
Oh my glory, how I  love Him!

More posts shortly!

Friday, October 28, 2011

write it. sign it. date it.

I'm making friends, guys!

So my last post, was a little dreary. But since then, I feel like there has been a huge shift
For myself, and those who didn't read that post (tsk tsk) I'll recap just a bit. Basically I wasn't doing great, I was really sad about leaving home, and was really not used to that entire concept, and why now I was feeling 'homesick' when that has never been an issue for me in the past. 

I have had SUCH major 'break through' this past week. I pretty much wrote down everything negative I was feeling, told (wrote) God that I was giving it over to him, signed and dated it. Formal I know, but I have found (in the 2 times I have done this) that the visual reminder that you've handed over your burdens to God, to be very effective. I then wrote down how I wanted to feel and the positive things that I know to be true about myself, my life, and the upcoming things in my life. Signed. Dated. Again, it may sound cheesy, and I'm sure it is, but choosing to lay down all the things that God says we're not meant to carry, and choosing all that is good that God does want for us, is a huge deal! Write it, sign it, date it. To me, it gives the words you've said authority and it gives you proof. So that when your feeling gross or guilty or fearful, you can look at the piece of paper and say "No. I chose to put these feelings aside, and let God deal with them, so I don't need to feel this way. Its taken care of." and THEN you get to turn the page and be like, "Hey! This is what God has said I am, and I know its true, because he only speaks the truth, so I can choose to feel this way instead!" As cheesy as it may be, who doesn't want it to be just that simple?!

Now here's the great stuff that has happened since (or around) that note:

  • I have been so happy and excited, once again for this trip I'm going on (which is really rather important)
  • I've started making a quilt! Which I am bringing to Hawaii, so some of my friends/family are donating clothes to help out, so they can be there with me! (Cheese-ball, I know!)
  • Today I found out a cheap phone plan for while I'm away, which was a huge learning curve for me. My dad has always been the one to help me out with these things, and I decided to try and figure it out myself, so I'm really very proud of myself  :D
  • I will also be meeting up, for free, with a lady whose going to help me sort out my bank account so its the easiest for when I'm in the states. So that will be a new learning experience as well!
  • The students in my DTS have all started to connect and get to know each other a bit more through facebook! (I am seriously so excited to meet everyone and see what God is going to do in all of our lives!) Hence the intro sentence. I don't know if anyone but us, can appreciate how exciting it is, to be getting to know these crazy-awesome people that your about to become best friends with. And I truly believe these are going to be lifelong friendships, so its all very, VERY exciting!

So that is the update! I will keep-on keeping you posted!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

emotions & walkabouts

There are so many emotions that you wrestle with when your on the brink of an adventure like mine. 
In all the travelling I've done by myself (starting when I was just 12) or with one other person, I never really missed home, or was sad to be leaving. Of course, those trips would never last longer than 3 months, but all the same, I think of that as an unusual reaction for someone as young as I was.
Right now though, there is the crazy mix of emotions that I'm feeling. Priority of course, is pure excitement! But its also a bit heartbreaking. Now, when I am surrounded by a great church community, amazingly unbelievably awesome friends, and my family as well... its so hard to think about leaving them. Especially since only in this past year have all these wonderful things come together in my life to form this melting-pot of amazingness. What is up with the timing here?! 

In mid-summer, I had decided I wanted to take another two high schools so that come November, I could apply to university. Well that, is no longer happening. I really feel God putting it on my heart to really be here, while I'm here. Frankly, it seems a bit cruel. Why would I want to become more attached to the people that I have to leave? Maybe I am just cold-hearted and self-protective, but would you not be trying to do the opposite? Maybe not to the extreme of cutting yourself off from people, but to be taking the time to surround myself with people that I feel like I am about to lose? That is so tragic. In the past, I would prepare myself to leave, through gradually detaching myself from people...

Maybe that's the real lesson God is giving me. That I don't need to detach in order to feel secure anymore. Deep, I know. 
When it comes down to it though, I am sad. I'm sad to be leaving my best friends. I'm sad to be leaving my church. I'm sad to be leaving my family. And I'm even sad to be leaving my room behind (its really pretty). 
Ultimately though, I do believe that this is all part of a process, and a bigger picture. I think God is teaching me not to disconnect, because he wants me to have a network of people, a home-base, that has my back and has me in their prayers. He is also preparing me for the bigger calling that he has on my life. 
There's traditions in many different cultures surrounding the coming of age. Its basically a time when youth go out on their own into the forest, the outback, or what-have-you and survive on their own until their destiny or calling is made known to them. They then return to their home, or continue on their journey, and fulfill that calling. Its really quite poetic. 
I feel like I'm on mine... or about to be at least. 
Its like I need to sever the ties I have here, and completely remove myself from all that is familiar from the life I have grown up in. Go do my inner-healing, my god-learning, and my out-reaching time, and then return, or continue on, with the destiny that God wants to reveal to me. 
Its a lot, but he's going to help me sort it all out... because he's already done that for me! Its just a matter of having my ears open, and listening for when he reveals what he wants, when he wants too. And that's not him "playing god" (though I know he is, and he is well aware of the fact) .. its him protecting me from the overload I would be bound to experience, if he revealed all the ins and outs of my life's story before its time.  I don't even want to know all the details yet, cause really, where's the fun in that? 

Well, enough of my midnight ramblings, goodnight!

Friday, October 21, 2011

so many blessings

Today, has been a very good day. It started off with sleeping-in, which is always nice. I talked to my boss about Kona, and we both agreed on the same date for my leaving, no issues! He's totally cool with me leaving 9 months early, and he's agreed to try and give me Sundays and Tuesdays off work. Which means I can finally go back to Church and get involved in the young adults meetings again...woohoo! 
Another grande thing happened today. Check out this mini verse and then I'll explain : )
quotation mark Mark 12:41-44 
And He sat down opposite the treasury, and began observing how the people were putting money into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent.Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.”quotation mark
I never wanted financial help from anyone. Even when it came to university (which I have yet to attend) I didn't want help from my parents, because I didn't want to feel like I owed anyone.
In these past few months, however; God has been teaching me a lot more about who He is and that he wants to provide for me. Today someone very precious to me, said that they want to pay for my travel insurance. It costs around $300.00 which is a substantial chunk of money for anyone to give. 
It was actually really emotional for me, because I know what circumstances this person is willing to support me from, and they remind me so much of the widow in this scripture. 
It is so humbling that someone would want to do that for me, and I am so grateful to you. You are truly a blessings in my life, and I cannot wait to see the blessing that will be poured into yours from your willingness to give! 

Chat with y'all soon!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

sleepy weather days

Today was one of those crazy sleepy days and rainy stormy weather. One of my favourite kinds of days!
Perfect for sleeping in way too late, and pampering myself with a face and hair mask. Instead of watching Dirty Dancing for the 3 time this week, I decided to make some soup!

Without a recipe... and... I decided to actually write down my recipe, which I never do, and share it with y'all! This is most definitely a first for me, so we shall see how it goes.

So, with my country music blaring, fireplace on, and tea on standby, here is my blustery-day-inspired:
Acorn Squash, Sweet Potato, and Split-Pea Soup!
1 acorn squash
1 pear
1 apple
4 small onions
2 cloves garlic

2 cups yellow split peas
1 can pureed sweet potato
1 box (900ml) chicken broth
2 cups apple juice
8 cups water

1 tsp grated ginger
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp cayenne
Olive oil

In an oven-proof pan:
1 acorn squash cubed, 2 tblsp olive oil and 1 tsp salt & pepper.
Put in oven at 350 for 35 min.

Meanwhile, in large soup pot:
Saute: 1tblsp olive oil, spices, minced garlic, grated ginger, and thinly sliced onions.
Add: Split peas, water, sweet potato, and chicken broth. Bring to a boil.
Once squash is finished and cooled; peel squash and mash in with cubed apple and pear.
Add to soup pot.

Continue boiling mixture until split peas are tender, approx. 2hrs.

Then, just let me know what you think! : )

Monday, October 17, 2011

pride & prejudice

Currently, I'm halfway through Greg Mortenson's book Stones Into Schools, and its gotten me thinking about pride and prejudice... not the movie, I just thought it would be cool to title this "pride & prejudice" because that's my favourite movie : ).When I first understood that I may be going to the "stans" as I call them (Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, etc.) with YWAM, my fist thought was: where are those, who is there, and what am I supposed to do there?

Luckily I've found "Three Cups of Tea" and "Stones Into Schools". Through reading Greg's stories about the families he met and the children he helped, and the culture and people that he has grown to love, I've grown to love them too. Its really amazing.

When I first learned of the possibility of going to the Stans, I asked God to give me a heart for his people, because frankly, I didn't have one. Or at least not for all of them. I'm not saying I hate anyone, there's no one culture that I dislike or anything crazy like that. It was just an impartiality. To people I haven't met yet, people I don't know about, stories I haven't heard. I just didn't really care, because I didn't know enough too.
The fantastic, and sometimes painful thing, is that now I do know enough. Not about everyone, yet... I still have a lot more people to learn about and to know. But about the people of Afghanistan and Pakistan? I've been learning a lot. And I love them! I think they are so beautiful, and I hope I get the chance to go and witness their life at some point in mine. And secretly (not so much anymore) I cannot wait to try Salt Tea.. like what does that even taste like? p.s. I'm a HUGE tea-drinker... so I'm very curious.

Frankly I'm not sure where to take this post from here, I suppose I could end it...
THE END! ta-da

PS. If you haven't already ~ and I truly hope most of you are way ahead me on this ~ take the time to care, and to get to know the other people in our world. They're fascinating, and they have tons to pour into our lives, we are the ones that miss-out if we don't take that time

Until next time,

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

why, thank~ya!

Time for an update? I think so!

Since my last post, there have been some grande things happening.

There's this crazy situation that I find myself getting into... Now, keep in mind this has only happened 2-3 times to me as of yet; but each time I discuss with someone my finances and how I believe God is going to provide them, I get home to find that that is exactly the case!
For instance, I was talking with my good friend about YWAM and all the costs I had to find a way to pay for and that I was trusting God to give them to me. I came home to find an email from my Grandparents saying they were going to help me with some of my costs.. now HOW exciting is that?! They have given me a huge leg-up with my flight, so thank-you to you!

Another lovely bit of news, is that I have gotten a letter from YWAM saying I don't need a visa : ) Its a small bit of news, but it takes some stress off, which is always a good thing.

Its crazy how good God is, He has totally been coming through on so many things, and right when I need them!
I love how encouraging He is, I'm learning so much more about the loving and caring God he is and how much he cares about me and the biggest to smallest details of my life.
Now how awesome is that?

More updates as they come,

Monday, October 03, 2011

oh... relax?

Hello fellow people!
Today felt like blogging atmosphere to me, hence... this post! Woohooo!

As you may or may not know, the past week or two has been emotionally hectic. I'm sure everyone has those times, so you'll probably be able to relate to that. It was madness. Now though, I'm doing a lot better. I feel like there's solid ground beneath my feet again and the reasons why are nothing like what I was searching for.
All the stress about visas, and money, and timing and school-work... let. it. all. go.
Simple. But crazy difficult. Maybe that's why it was a whole 2-weeks of stressing out.
I realized that me worrying is exactly the opposite of me being productive. That I had been praying to God that HE, would put it on the hearts of those who should be supporting me. That HE, would give me peace about which visa, if any, I should get. and that HE  would help me be motivated to do my school work, and make that entire process smooth.
The major word in all of that is "he". Its up to God guys, when you ask Him to come through on something, you should consider it done. I should consider it done. He is more than willing to show you that He is God of the Universe and Papa of your heart. That His desire for you is for the things of your heart, and for you to feel successful, to feel secure, protected, and purposeful. Not even just to feel these things, but to be these things. Because you are His daughter, or son and He is the perfect Daddy. Who happens to be King of the Universe, as well as utterly in love with you.
For me, believing what I just told you, took a bit of craziness. It took time, and it took me actively choosing to believe these things, sometimes consciously and sometimes it was frustration, just 'giving up' on making things work myself, and saying "fine God, you do it!". And he does.

So where am I at now? haha, good question.
I am at a place of comfort. I know I have the money in the bank that I need to go do YWAM. Its all mine, I've spent 2-years working full-time to earn it. I've saved nearly every penny, and I am committed to not being in debt, ever. Its one of the goals I've had since I was 12 years old (a lot of goals/promises were made around that age for me). Seeing that money be cut down by $10,000 dollars will be hard. Not even going to pretend to make it seem easy. But God, I believe, is telling me that I'm not going to be paying for this trip on my own. That He is putting it on the hearts of others to support what I am doing. And those people, that God is nudging forward, are frankly, the only people I would accept money from! I want no obligation to be the blessing to people that have supported me. That is between God and "you" .. whoever you are. He will bless you in return I am sure of it. And I am sure that He is blessing me through you. Its a great circle really. But only if God is in the middle of it. That is why I'm now at peace about finances. I've realized I don't want anyone's money if its not given through Him. And if that doesn't happen in the time frame I am expecting, I've got the money I need already, to do what God has called me to do.
Its really, rather freeing.

So I'm going to leave it at that.
Be blessed in your day and the next ones coming. And try to just relax! Its amazing how much more can be accomplished when we're not trying to grasp onto the reins every other second, and control the situation.
God's got it!